Seriously...

Seriously...when I was about 9 or 10, Valley Girl came out with all it's like slang and like - barf me - glory. Unfortunately, all of us tweens were hooked and my mother was horrified to hear me say at dinner, "no, I'm not going to eat that broccoli...like gag me with a spoon." This became far worse when I befriended another shorter who not only used the word "like" at a much faster and frequenter rate but paired it with "you know." Oh, how it would drive my mother crazy. "NO I DON'T KNOW. Say, what you're talking about!" And, I have to admit my over indulgence with such slang has haunted me ever since.

You know your parents tell you not to walk with a hunch because you'll get a hunch....they are right. For me besides my forever youthful venacular was my insistence to walk like a sailor...wait that's what Mike says...no to walk with duck feet. My feet had a natural inclination to kick outward and I had a natural stubborness to like you know ignore my parents warnings and now over twenty...ok way over twenty years later... If you walk like a duck, talk like a duck, ya know you're probably just like me. It's horrifying. My fiance is English and walks very proper when in actuality since he's from a council state so his walk is abou the only proper thing about him (you know let's channel pigmillion if you wil)l. No, I'm giving him too much credit, he's sometimes indeciferable especially when he's tired. Even his own maties who are from England themselves can't understand him.....but like I totally digress.

But, I'm not the only "problem" in the family...I mean seriously. When I was babysitting my very clever little nephew last festivas he had a serious problem seriously overusing the word seriously....like seriously I'm not joking. And, his father (aka to me butthead) and myself (aka to his father as geriatric) tried to scold him by saying "Ipp, you seriously have like a serious probem with the word usage of seriously I mean you seriously use the word way too much...seriously." And, strangely, we made no progress and instead he'd say, "you have to seriously turn up the Pink Floyd...seriously..." or my favorite, "can you seriously stop playing that song (Nirvana) so loud...you're hurting my ears like...seriously Aunt Brigid." Apparently, he's going to a Pink Floyd concert tonight...good thing Nirvana's...broken up...he ain't a fan...seriously.

It's my birthday tomorrow and me own maties are stuck on I-495 right now as I expect them any minute except they're like....on 495..duh. And, I hear a knock at the door, the UPS man. And, I received my favorite birthday gift from like my totally favorite little brother in Saudi. He got me the "Totally Blonde" DVD boxset.

And, I have found myself like seriously and totally mystified and then my childhood floods back to me. Although I was like incredibly academic when I taught in Lebanon as the students, pen posed, watched my lips for hints of further meaning and took down everything I wrote. I think they like found seriously important notes that then like forever burned in their minds...enough to send me from like the MIddle East a Happy Birthday Totally Blonde box set, which reminded them of my fresh (but in the end completely outdated) venacular.

Although for the record, my hair was like black in Lebanon until Miss NDU TOOK ME OUT. And, then after three men did my hair...it like was Totally Red.

But, seriously thank you...seriously!